Espada Twins
by Deadblackkat
Summary: There are two new Espada in Las notches, and they are twins! what will happen to the espada when these two tear up the entirety of Las Notches' sanity? T for cussing, rating might go up.


"These two will become the new zero espada and the new seventh espada. Any objections?" Aizen said.

"These two twins? HA! They couldn't hurt a fly!" Nnoitra said and a pale hand was at his throat.

"'Couldn't hurt a fly... maybe that's true with my sis, but it'll take you YEARS to catch up to me, Trash." the girls hand never faltered.

"umm.. sis? You should back down..." a silver-haired girl said.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, KATSUMI! I'm going to slit his throat then butcher his body and feed it to the low level hollows just to torment him."

"Can't you be a little... less violent?" Katsumi said and twiddled her thumbs.

"Dammit..." the pale girl dropped her hand and turned away. "Katsumi, why do you always stop my fucking fun? I wanna see him cry before I kill him." the girl disappeared and reappeared next to her sister.

"Umm... Katsuke, can you please calm down?" Katsumi said.

"Shut it! I'm tired of you clinging to me like a two-year-old!"

"Katsuke~"

"No."

"Well, this is interesting..." Szayel said.

"Who asked you, pinky?" Katsuke yelled at Szayel.

"P-Pinky?" Szayel stuttered.

"I always thought the color pink was......" Katsumi started to say but shut her mouth.

"UGLY!" Katsuke said as-a-matter-of-fact-ly, while Katsumi nodded slightly.

"U-Ugly?" Szayel stuttered.

"heh... she got you good." Grimmjow said and leaned back in his chair. Katsuke smiled a bit and then Grimmjow fell over. "WHAT THE HELL?!"

"aww... kitty lost his balance!" Katsuke smirked then held up a leg to his chair.

"That wasn't nice, Katsuke..."

"Eh shaddup! He deserved it."

"He complemented you..."

"So? He was being annoying..." Katsuke smirked even bigger, putting Gin to shame.

"Pay up..." Starrk said to Halibel.

"How much was the bet again?"

"3,000 yen."

"Shit..." Halibel reluctantly handed Starrk the money.

"Well, I would LOVE to stay and chat, but I gotta go kill a few Menos... be right back." Katsuke left and after a minute of silence, she reappeared. "Back."

"How many this time, sis?"

"219."

"New record!" Katsumi squealed and smiled.

"219 in a minute? That's impossible!" Barrigan exclaimed

"Maybe to you it is!"

"Katsuke is naturally fast. She could probably be faster then every hollow and the speed of light!" Katsumi chirped.

"Shaddup!"

"Sorry..."

"Whatever... I'll be in my room..." Katsuke walked out and left the other thirteen people looking after her.

"N-Nii-San!" Katsumi called out and followed.

"Those two are going to be a big pain..." Starrk said.

"I find them interesting." Ulquiorra said. Everyone stared at him, and he never said another word.

"I think it's going to be more Katsuke than Katsumi..." Gin said.

***Katsuke's POV***

Yep. Espada Zero. That's me. Fucking tattoo stings a bit... Damn that fucking Fox-Face and that blind dude... WHO THE HELL LETS A BLIND GUY GIVE SOMEONE A FUCKING TATTOO?!?!? I stared out the window at the sky above. Heh... at least that brown-haired dude on the throne knows I can probably kick his ass. Tch... whatever... I feel like smashing something...

SMASH

"I feel better... a bit..."

"K-Katsuke! What did you do to the wall?"

"I broke it. It was being annoying."

"How can a wall be annoying?"

"By being there and staring at me."

"It's a wall..."

"There were eyes." as if on cue, someone groaned under the debris. "See?" I walked over and pulled the guy out of the debris. "Hey, Fox-Face."

"Hello Ichimaru-Sama."

"What were you doing watching us?" I smirked at him. I enjoyed giving other people trouble and causing them pain. It was who I was.

"Erm... Enjoying the view?" Gin said.

"Would you enjoy a different view?" I said.

"Depends..."

"Alright... here's the different view." WHACK! Gin went flying! He crashed through two walls and landed in the blind-dude's room.

"I-Ichimaru-Sama!" Katsumi stuttered.

"shut up... he deserved it. That'll teach him to spy on me." I said and walked away. I went to the espada lounge. The primero espada was there and the spoon dude too. "Yo." I said and sat down. "Is fox-face always a sneaky spy?"

"Yep." Starrk said.

"Heh... nice forest... could be better without the cliff..."

"What?" Starrk sat up.

"Your inner world. It would be better without the cliff."

"Okay?" Starrk laid back down.

"What do you guys do to entertain yourselves?"

"Sleep."

"Fight."

"Ah. Man! I'm fucking BORED!!!!!" I laid back on the couch and looked at the ceiling. I felt something prick at the back of my mind. "Be right back..."

"WAAH! Ulquiorra-Sama, I'm so sorry!" Katsumi said as I got closer.

"Shut up, Trash." Ulquiorra said and I stepped between them.

"Who ya calling trash, Trash?" I said and stared at him. "If ya wanna fight, fight me, not my sister!"

"Fine." Ulquiorra walked away.

"What the hell? HEY!" I said and grabbed his shoulder. He smacked me and I just stood there. "You... smacked me..."

"So?"

"You... smacked me... I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!" I said, but a hand held me back.

"Nii-San, don't!" Katsumi said while holding me back so that I don't kill Ulquiorra. "Sorry about my Nii-San, she's hyper in the mornings..."

"I see..." he said and I saw a hint of amusement in his eyes. I wanted to rip his eyes out.

"Next time you hurt my sister, I will not hesitate to kill you..." I said and shook Katsumi's hand off and left. That was the first time I met the Fourth espada in a non-formal setting. I went to meetings, got annoyed by fox-face, when I was finally fed up with his pranks, me and my sis decided to retaliate.

"Umm.. Ichimaru-Sama, I have a question..." My sis was distracting him while I painted his room and clothes yellow and pink. "are you always so mean?"

"What?" he said and I took that opportunity to put our plan into action. Two minutes... that's all it took. And he didn't even notice me painting his outfit yellow with pink trim. I nodded to my sis and she nodded back.

"Sorry for bothering you..." she ran off towards me and I snickered as Gin looked dumbfounded and shut his door.

"Three... Two... One..." I pointed at the door.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!? KATSUKE! KATSUMI!!!!" Gin yelled.

"HAHA!!! GOT YA GOOD, FOX-FACE!" I yelled to him and turned when he came bounding out the door.

"RUN!!" Katsumi yelled. I grabbed her and ran.

"hehe... he was pissed... he even opened his eyes. HAHA!" I broke down laughing on the other side of Las Notches. "That'll teach him to spy on us when we are changing..." I said and sat down. "Jeez... why does everyone have to be so stuck up when we pull a joke?"

"I dunno." Katsumi said and looked at me. "But it's fun watching their expressions."

"Let me take out the list..." I took out a list. "People to prank: Aizen-check, Tousen-check, Gin- quadruple check, Starrk-check, Barrigan-check," I shuddered at that check... "'note: never replace his clothes with bikini's ever again... hurts you more...' Halibel-Check, Ulquiorra-blank, Nnoitra-check, Grimmjow-check, Szayel-CHECK, Aaronierro-check, Yami-CHECK. So we still have to prank the emo..."

"What should we do?"

"umm..."

"Write 'Aizen sucks' on his wall?"

"No... I have an idea... but I won't like it much... but It'll torture him..."

"What?"

"Hmm... I was going to kiss him on the lips."

"THAT'S SUICIDE!!!!"

"maybe to you it is... but I can handle him."

"Don't... he might kill you or something..."

"Did you forget that we know Kidou? I can defend myself." I said.

"no... I just don't like it..."

"Operation: Kiss an Emo... underway!" I jumped down off the dune and ran to find Ulquiorra. "Ulqui! ULQUI!!!!!" I yelled, knowing he hates being called that. When I found him he set down his book and had an irritation mark on his head.

"What?"

"I have something for you." he sighed and looked at me.

"What?" I leaned over and pressed my lips to his. I pulled away and looked at his shocked face. "Why did you do that?"

"To torture you. See ya!" I turned to run.

"W-Wait! DAMMIT KATSUKE!!!!" Ulquiorra stood up and chased after me. I just laughed and ran faster until I lost him.

"Hehe... I even got an emotional reaction out of him. Starrk owes me 2,000 yen." I smirked and ran off to collect my money.

* * *

If you wanna know the pranks, here they are:  
Aizen: replaced shampoo with bue hair dye. He went around Las Notches looking like Grimmjow.  
Gin: Painted his room and clothes yellow and pink, glued a fox-tail to the back of every outfit of his, glued fox eard to his head, and told Tousen that he glues Wonderwice to the roof of Aizen's throne room, then sat back and watched the fight. (ref to another fan fic)  
Tousen: glued him to the toilet seat.  
Starrk: woke him up whenever he fell asleep.  
Barrigan: replaced all his clothes with bikini's... hurt everyone... ^_^'  
Halibel: shrunk her tops.  
Ulquiorra: kissed him on the lips when he thinks i hate him.  
Nnoitra: got a vid of him being beaten by Nel in the past and showed it to everyone. (THANK YOU, Szayel.)  
Grimmjow: made him an Ichigo plushie and glued it to his back where no-one can reach. (hehe... it was so funny...)  
Szayel: destroyed his lab, let loose his specimens, and deleted all his data.  
Aaronierro: Drew funny faces on his glass bulb-thing with permanent marker.  
Yami: whenever he went to eat, sprayed him with water and said 'Bad Dog!' then kicked his ass when he got mad.

the bet with Starrk went like this:  
Katsuke: hey Starrk, i bet i can get an emotional responce out of Ulquiorra.  
Starrk: bet you can't.  
Katsuke: how much?  
Starrk: 2,000 yen. but you have to do it before the end of the month or else i win.  
Katsuke: deal. (three days before the 'Prank')


End file.
